Oh yay the internet has an opinion about someone elses relationship ::spins finger:: I don’t need to justify who I love to anyone….
He may have pushed me in submission / pain / limits sense further then I was ok with sooner then I was ready for and then reacted very poorly to my fear and didn’t listened to me and it bordered on abuse… but it’s been nearly a decade of us both being able to grow to be much better partners in that time.
I made mistakes of my own, I didn’t communicate my fears, my limits, or my thoughts bravely. In learning to be ok with myself more, know myself more, have my own voice, and be able to have that autonomy, I am able to as a full person belong to him, and not as someone weak and afraid of myself or my wants.
But slowly as friends we’ve been able to see that we are healthy for each other and love each other, that we understand and feel regret for how deeply we’ve hurt each other. I feel more happy, loved, desired, cherished, adored, lusted, needed, wanted, and precious, then I ever have in my entire life, and it’s by the only person I have ever been able to completely believe I belonged to, and it is incomparable, it is incredible. No feeling for him has ever been or will ever be mild, or luke warm, or questionable, it’s always burned hot for years, and never stopped, I have never known anything like it.
I am so glad we were able to grow enough in time and due to the people and experiences in our lives that helped round us to no longer be harmful to each other but to be supportive and loving and be a thermodynamic miracle, the every single bit of satisfaction we ever couldn’t even dream to experience. I honestly feel blessed for the stars to have aligned in such a way that we have become who we are now, and that we are able to experience a unparalleled compatibility.
The only abuse he does to me now is the consensual kind, and that’s more use then abuse. Also the best sex I have ever fathomed, like next level shit, like twin flame mother fucking mind meld sex. Being THAT in sync and into a person is a incredible, bordering on spiritual, thing.
I am kind of ranting a lot…